Q: Did you hear the one about the butcher?

A: She's fat and balding. :-(

This PCOS crap is really make me mad! I'm gaining weight rapidly... again... and now my hair is falling out in clumps. I'm so sick of being plagued with this. I have so many things I need to worry about like, playing with my kids and being a confident woman for them to look up to. Instead, I'm doing exercise classes, going to the gym, starving myself and now spending extra time, whenever I can, in front of a mirror. Not because I'm being self righteous and fixing my makeup... but because I'm looking for bald spots on my head. :'-(

Tonight, I feel alone. Like no one can possible understand what I'm going through. I have an appointment with the endocrinologist on October 18th, but I feel like I'll be completely bald by then. Not to mention I feel like my abdomen is going to explode sometimes, most recently with the pain from the cysts. I've been having so many insanely weird things going on with my body and my OBGYN is treating me like I'm a hypochondriac... telling me to take tylenol and that it isn't anything to worry about...

REALLY??!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I know my body, and this stuff is really weird and not normal for me. I'm in severe pain most days and you're just gonna sit there collecting your $200k a year and tell me not to worry this is normal.... Suddenly now that my husband and I have decided that we will not be having more children, I'm not as important as the Fertile Myrtle in her 20's huh?

I'm alone and scared. The only people who can help me, I have to wait until the 18th to see or don't want to schedule to see me at all. If there is anyone out there reading this blog, I feel like I'm falling apart physical right now and there is no help or hope. This is the worst part of this weight loss journey for me. Working my tail off and not getting any results or hope of getting any results because of the little trickster living in my body known as PCOS.

I just want to be me again.

xoxox,
Shan